Finding Out You Have Mesothelioma
What is it like to find out you have mesothelioma? What is it like for the patient and for their loved ones? I am living this first hand. I can only write of my own experiences and of the two people whom I love dearly who in the last 10 days have been diagnosed with Stage IV cancers. Last week, I wrote about a friend of mine, just shy of 40 with a ten year old boy who is as close to me as my sisters. She went to the doctor to ask about a lump and was told has Stage IV cancer, with tumors of varying sizes in multiple sites.
Yesterday, I was talking to another dear friend, whose birthday was Friday. He was in the hospital, and received the news that he too has Stage IV cancer, which has entered his spine and is spreading to his lungs and other areas quickly.
So, what is it like to find out you have mesothelioma or any other type of aggressive advanced form of cancer? Not a simple answer. I think the best is to say it’s like being on an emotional roller coaster where you know the ride is going to last a lot longer than anyone would wish for. There will be times where it feels devastating, overwhelming, exhausting, and sad. Anger usually creeps in somewhere along the way, especially when our thoughts make it personal, like “Why me? Why is this happening to me?!?” Sometimes there is peace, and a serenity in looking back over the great parts of a life lived and falling into an acceptance, a surrender so to speak. And then the ride starts all over again: fear, loss, sadness, anger, peace, acceptance, denial, and so on.
Last week, my sister-friend was hopeful, believing that if she changes her diet and avails herself of any and all kinds of alternative healing methods, she could be that 1% miracle and live. I supported her and kept my own experiences and beliefs separate.
All last week, we looked into alkalized diets, other supportive nutrition, held alternative healing circles and prayer circles, create a carepages.com, as well as went to oncologists and had MRI’s done. The results do not look good.
This week, there is anger, and feeling weak. The reality that death might be soon is unavoidably there. Appearing strong for others is not possible. Hiding the sorrow is not possible. Life all around goes on, but it seems almost like being in a different reality as the possibility of dying seems imminent. The tears come and go.
Next week, it’s another trip to the oncologists. It’s the continued search for the best doctors, for clinical trials, for decisions to be made about a treatment plan, if any. As more tests are done, more doctors consulted with, new information comes in.
The ride on the roller coaster accelerates and the sense of powerlessness to stop time, to stop the cancer, to stop the fear is a constant passenger.
How to help during this time? Do whatever makes you feel the slightest bit of control, of being able to make a difference. For some, that is looking into treatments. For others, it’s prayer. For others, it’s preparing for death – making wills, writing letters, getting business in order, etc.
Try to let friends support, even if from afar. Let them bring food, or field phone calls, or help with cleaning your house. The small daily tasks that once were done with complaint that you now wish you had the strength to do.
And, please, if at all possible, remember the best of life, the joys past and current. Take time to see beauty, to smile, to laugh, and to be grateful, even if in small moments.
If you have been diagnosed with mesothelioma, as awful as it is, you are entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is caused by exposure to asbestos. Manufacturers and employers can be held liable for negligence in not keeping you safe and protected from mesothelioma.
Watching my friend, money is a concern. Covering all the doctors’ bill and loss of wages is huge. Let us help you to at least take this worry away. For a caring, expert mesothelioma attorney call 1-800-440-4262. You can also read the article Patient Perspective- Part 1: Being Diagnosed with Mesothelioma for further information.
